HAVE YOU BEEN FOOLING YOURSELF?
You cannot become the person God created you to be if you play games with the truth. To make a real claim for the kind of faith that leads to recovery, it is your responsibility to pursue self-clarity, so you can learn to understand who you are, what you are about, why you think the way you do and why you do the things you do. This may even mean admitting how hopeless you still feel, or how weak you feel your faith to be. If we want to know God personally, the place to start is with the truth about ourselves.
God is a God of truth. He is a God of reality. To procrastinate in this work of self-honesty is to avoid the process of growing in relationship to God, who is our only hope. All God is asking you to be is completely honest — right now. With your addiction as obvious evidence, you were not honest in the past, and tomorrow may never come. Your opportunity for recovery is to face yourself honestly, today and every day. Procrastination is deadly to sexual addicts.
The moral inventory is a cool examination of the damages that occurred to us during life and a sincere effort to look at them in
true perspective. This has the effect of taking the ground glass out of us, the emotional substance that still cuts and inhibits.
Bill Wilson, As Bill Sees It
You want me to be completely truthful, so teach me wisdom.
Psalm 51:6 NCV
There is no effective substitute for a truthful, realistic perspective of who you are. Honesty, openness and willingness — the very things we run from in our addictions — are required. Most everyone in Operation Integrity will readily admit they felt fearful and reluctant about making their own personal inventory. It can seem like an impossibly uncomfortable thing to do. We all needed help. Being open-minded, we were willing to ask for the help we needed. And we got it. We got help from our sponsors, our mentors and our counselors. If you need help, ask for it. You are not alone.