Wednesday, November 12, 2014

A CHANGE OF HEART - from WHEN LOST MEN COME HOME, NOT FOR MEN ONLY










A CHANGE OF HEART


I spent the first forty years of my life trying to overcome one thing or another, and failing most of the time. I tried to make good grades in school and make good decisions for my life, and to be a success in my work. But in one way or another I so often failed. When my best efforts ended up badly, I struggled and felt hopelessly abnormal and out of place. Just being me was painful and the pain I felt triggered powerful desires to escape what I was feeling, which opened the door to addictive temptations over and over again. This is how my addiction to sex slowly eroded the greatest of my God-given dignities: the ability to make clear and healthy choices for myself. My addictions always promised me so much, but they gave me less and less until, ultimately, they began taking from me. Time and again, they led me into deeper and darker forms of slavery.


But no more — things have now changed. Every day I stand at a crossroad. In one direction are the addictions that I have loved so much with their allure and destruction; in the other lies gut-wrenching openness and rigorous honesty. Sooner or later, we will all find ourselves standing here, and only honesty will enable us to know which way to choose.













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