Thursday, February 27, 2014

A Personal Note from David Zailer regarding Operation integrity

A Personal Note Regarding Operation Integrity 2014                 



Greetings Operation Integrity (OI) Participants and supporters!


No doubt you are well into 2014 as am I. I reduced my work schedule throughout January to catch my breath a bit, but now it is full steam ahead. I want to give you a heads-up where we are today, and the challenges we face.


Operation Integrity finished 2013 in fine form regarding our ministry work, but we did fall short of our year-end fundraising goal. Nevertheless, this shortfall has not reduced our commitment or activities for 2014.  

  • OI continues mentoring private recovery meetings across the U.S. and beyond
  • My books, Our Journey Home and When Lost Men Come Home, not for men only are making a difference in the lives of addicted men and women, and their families.
  • OI continues providing affordable recovery programs through our 45-Day Intensive & 90-Day Transformation programs; collaborating with counselors, therapists, churches, and treatment centers.
  • I am booked to speak locally and across the U.S.
    • Speaking at Lifelines of The crossing Church in Costa Mesa CA
    • Presenting and on Panel at Coast Hills Church March 5th, 2014
    • Keynote speaker at City of Hope Recovery Conference in Fort Worth Texas, June 5th-7th.
    • Speaking and lecturing at Hope and Anchor Church in Springfield MO in September – date TBA.
  • Operation Integrity will be hosting The Katharos Integrity Alliance Conference in Orange County CA, April 3-5, 2014
  • Operation Integrity was in World Magazine, and I was interviewed for PureSex Radio and Recovery Talk Live TV.
  • I am currently working supporting Pastors in Michigan, Wisconsin, Texas and Florida
  • Operation Integrity Weekly reaches more than 3700 people each week


Real People Results


Our local fellowships have grown dramatically the past few weeks, including a small flood of young 20-something men seeking help for pornography addiction. In each case, these men are too ashamed to share their struggle with their family (they come from prominent families in their churches). The Operation Integrity program and the men in our local fellowships are more than adequate to give these men the help and support they need to begin recovering and to build a long-term and sustainable life of recovery; including bringing their families into the recovery experience – which is an essential part of long-term recovery.  


Challenges for OI


First and foremost, Operation Integrity needs your prayers. And please pray for me personally. Those of you who know me know how tireless I work, but sometimes I overdo it leading me into depression and discouragement. Thank you in advance for personally praying for me!!


Also, Operation Integrity critically needs to refund our scholarships. The young men we are working with are students with little or no income. And, sadly, at least at this time, their families are not helping fund the cost of the program OI is providing for them. The fund which we draw on in these situations has been depleted; we need approximately $12,000.00 to refund our scholarships. 


How You Can Be A Part


I ask that you financially support our efforts, most specifically OI scholarships. (Your donation to Operation Integrity is tax deductible.) I thank you personally in advance for your contributions, and most of all I thank you for your ongoing support through prayer.


There are two convenient ways you can financially support Operation Integrity.


1. Visit us at to make a donation.

2. Mail your check to Operation Integrity,

24040 Camino del Avion #A115

Monarch Beach CA 92629


Thank you again for your prayers and for the ongoing support you provide.


Yours in Christ and recovery,


David Zailer

Executive Director




Follow Operation Integrity on Facebook, & Twitter @opintegrity

Wednesday, February 26, 2014


We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.
Galatians 6:4,5 The Message

“Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.” - Thomas Jefferson

Truth in Relationships

The people around us get hurt by our addictions. But in recovery we can benefit the lives of others, too. Step Four is as much about people as it is about addiction. What we do in Step Four is personal, both to us and to others. This is because of the personal nature of our relationships. Relationships are personally organic because people are organic. We all impact the lives of others. We can’t help it; it’s the way we are. People are both blessed and cursed by one another.

Next to God, our relationships with other people are the greatest influences in our lives. This doesn’t mean that everything will be great all of the time. When we look at other people in a realistic way, we’ll see that they are tremendous sinners. And we’ll see that they look a whole lot like us because we are tremendous sinners, too. Above all of this, what becomes amazingly clear is a subtle yet profound goodness in each of us. As we come to grips with our profound sinfulness, and the fact that God loves us anyway, we are able to recognize a God-given dignity and worth inside of all people. We’ll recognize that no one can really be defined in terms of good versus bad. We all have an original worthiness that is completely human, as shown through our obvious flaws and shortcomings, and more than human at the same time. Instinctively, it seems, we all want more out of life than what we can provide for ourselves. We fall short. We are sinners who are reaching out for something that we cannot get on our own.

Step Four is not about making judgments. It is about getting an honest awareness of who we are and how we have lived. We want to see how we have damaged our relationships with other people. Working through Step Four will help us learn to live in such a way that we won’t be so easily influenced to do things that hurt us or others. God is our strength. He is working to build us up according to His will. So we don’t need to worry about what other people say or think about us. It’s not like we have any control over them anyway. We just live our lives with God, honestly. We let God take care of others. We don’t need to feel pity for them, or for ourselves. However, we do need to develop a keen awareness of how we have allowed others to influence us in the past, sometimes for good and other times not so good.

We can approach our personal and moral inventories in different ways but there will probably be some common characteristics. We bring our willingness to the table and we face some tough questions about how our attitude and our behavior have affected those around us. Then we write down what comes to mind. We write down everything about our families that we think is important. We write down every thought, every memory and every feeling, the best we can. We write about the people who have harmed us and we write about the people who we have harmed. We write a great deal about our sexual experiences as well as any experiences that we have had with drugs, alcohol, money, gambling, food and/or anything else that has been a problem for us at any time in our lives. We write about why we did the things we did. We write about how we felt when we were doing them, and how we felt after we did them. We write about love, what we desired for love to be like and how we have been disappointed by those we loved. We write it all. We write everything.

Questions That Need to Be Answered

• How have you disregarded or abused those weaker than you?
• Who were the people that you hurt in this way?
• How have you envied the talents and resources other people had that you did not have?
• Who were the people that you hurt in this way?
• How have you envied the talents and resources other people had that you did not have?
• How has your addiction affected your relationship with your religious family?
• How have you been selfish?
• What makes you feel entitled to do things that you know are wrong?
• How have you valued your addiction more than your spouse and your children?
• How has your family, your employer or others been hurt by your moral failings or your insensitivities?
• What are some of the things that others have been denied because you were absorbed in your addiction?
• What are some specific ways that you have exhibited selfishness?
• How have you been careless with your spouse, your children, your employer and your neighbors?
• In what ways have you put your own needs and interests above the needs and interests of others?
• How and why have you lied to your loved ones?
• How has your employer been hurt by your addictions?
• How as your family been ashamed because of your attitude and behavior?
• When and with whom do you feel self-pity?
• What do you feel guilty about?
• What do you like about yourself?
• What do other people like about you?
• Why do you lie?
Our Journey Home - Insights and Inspirations for Christian Twelve Step Recovery
By David Zailer
Copyright 2011, Homecoming Books


Copyright 2012, Homecoming Books
click  link to purchase



We suffer when we get stingy with surrender. The bigger our ego gets the smaller God gets. However, when we look to experience God’s presence in our life, our ego shrinks correspondingly. Only after, and never without, the intentional application of hard work, will we grow up. We remain humanly imperfect in this growth process, but internally we become complete at the same time. We experience the purpose God made us for, a purpose our created nature requires, which is why there are no accidents in recovery.

One of the powerful miracles of recovery is the story that grows out of a person’s experiences as their life transforms. As you and I live out our recovery and share it with others, our life story will encourage others just as we have been encouraged through the stories of other recovering people. Healthy balanced people who express their lives as living miracles show how God takes all the broken pieces of our lives and creates something worthwhile for all to see, proving there are no accidents in recovery.

If we have never had the experience of taking our casual, religious shoes off our casual religious feet – getting rid of all the excessive informality with which we approach God – it is questionable whether we have ever stood in His presence.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest January 3

We take our efforts seriously, while knowing that serious results are from God. We remain intent and dogged in pursuit of our disciplines, in the working of the steps, but dismiss at all times the notion that our work is enough. It never is. Our miracles come from God, and He offers them in conjunction with our work.

Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest February 9

Everything we have admitted expresses how alone we have been in the past. With the help of others in recovery, we have discovered and accepted our great need for God. We have been adulterous lovers who having been found out, come home awkward and embarrassed and ashamed — sneaking in the back door, not knowing what to say. Now — having been ‘found out’ — we realize that God has already made the first move to build a new relationship with us. He listens to us as we become willing to make the second move, which is to pray. Prayer takes us out of our aloneness.
This is what I think, in essence, prayer is. It is the breaking of silence. It is the need to be known and the need to know. Prayer is the sound made by our deepest aloneness.

Prayer is man’s impulse to open up his life at its deepest level. People pray because they cannot help it. In one way or another, I think, all people pray.

Frederick Buechner, The Magnificent Defeat pgs 126 & 126

I believe every one of us is inclined to pray, we all do it in one way or another. We intuitively need and want to engage something bigger than we are. In whatever way we do it, prayer is our way of saying hello to God. Prayer puts us at the kitchen table, with coffee in hand, ready for a meeting, a dialogue, an increased closeness of relationship. Prayer ushers us into communion with the Perfect Father. And while He, Our Father – God, is perfect, our prayers do not need to be perfect. What we do not know how to say, He says for us. What we find impossible to express, He understands. Prayer catapults us into the frontier of an authentic spiritual life.

In prayer, real prayer, we begin to think God’s thoughts after Him: to desire the things He desires, to love the things He loves, to will the things He wills. Progressively, we are taught to see things from His point of view.

Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline pg 34

Instead of all these, the answer that He gives, I think is Himself. If we go to Him for anything else, He may send us away empty or He may not. But if we go to Him for Himself, I believe that we go away always with this deepest of all our hungers filled.

Frederick Buechner, The Magnificent Defeat pg 127

Prayer is always the most relevant thing I do. To be free from my addictions, my compulsions and my self-centeredness, I must become a man who prays. Prayer helps me find a link between the catastrophe of my past and the God-designed providence of my future. Prayer helps me know exactly who I am and what I should do at any moment in time. In prayer, I find the alertness to live well in any difficult moment and the energy to meet overwhelming challenges. Prayer helps me work with God to build my future, to determine what kind of man I will be, and what kind of impact I will have on the world. Sometimes, it is helpful to pray for others to change. Most importantly, it is always helpful to pray for me to change. As I am changing through prayer, prayer changes the influence I have on my surroundings. Then, through the lens of this new prayer-full perspective, I see the world around me change.

Keep on asking, and you will be given what you ask for. Keep on looking and you will find. Keep on knocking and the door will be opened. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And the door is opened to everyone who knocks.

Matthew 7:7-8 NLT

This is an excerpt from WHEN LOST MEN COME HOME, not for men only 

~ Copyright David Zailer, 2011

click this link to purchase

Wednesday, February 19, 2014


Turning Over Our Will

“With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgment. Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 CEV

“We deify our independence and self-will and call them by the wrong name. What God sees as stubborn weakness, we call strength.”
-Oswald Chambers

We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

Everyone is addicted to something. While some things are more addictive to some people than others, the potential is there for all of us because of the biochemical connections that happen in our brain and our bodies. In fact, we can potentially become addicted to things that are not even thought of as addicting, because addiction has more to do with the inside of us, than it has to do with things that are outside of us. For example, let’s say that we have become addicted to jelly beans. Now we all know that jelly beans are not generally considered as addictive, but, nonetheless, it is possible that we may be so profoundly affected by our love of jelly beans that we begin to think and feel, at least to some degree in our psyche, that we “need” jelly beans. Being addicted to the jelly beans means that we’ve come to believe that they are necessary for us. We think that we need them to be happy and to maintain what we think is normal for us. This is the way that addiction corrupts our priorities, misplacing other things that are truly more important.

Just like with jelly beans, we can potentially become addicted to any person, to any place and to anything. The addictions we’ve struggled with have embedded themselves into our priorities and our intentions and, in doing so, they’ve hijacked our desires. The sum total of our priorities, our intentions and our desires equals our will. This means that ultimately we get addicted in our will.
The will is best described as what we intend on doing and what we plan to do. Perhaps we can best understand the term “will” if we think of it as our focused desire, our commitment to pursue, the giving of our attention, what we most deeply desire. Our will is what we want, what we pursue, with what and how we devote our attention. It’s what we are committed to doing. It’s what we really want. It connects us to everything we hope and dream for. It’s connected to our personal history including family, career, love interests, even religion and politics. Our will reveals everything we really think and feel about ourselves, other people, and the world in which we live.

In the past we have lived by our own willpower. And, as our addictions prove, our self-determined willpower has entangled us, getting us attached to people, to places and to things in ways that are not healthy for us. If we become attached to people, to places or to things in ways where they become more important to us than God’s will, our willpower is weakened accordingly. The more we exert our willpower for our own self-centered desires, the less effective it becomes. This is where the bondage of addiction gains its deadly toehold in our lives. Even though we often don’t realize it, the root of our addictions—and our sins, too—is pride. Willpower alone will never be enough. It must be empowered by God.

The antidote to our pride and our addictions is humility. Turning over our will to God’s care is the ultimate, and intimate, humility that only we can do for ourselves. What we are really doing is turning over every thought, every feeling, every desire, and every intention. We don’t try to change them ourselves, and we certainly don’t deny them. We just admit them and then turn them over to God. It doesn’t matter whether they are good or bad, we turn them over either way. As we turn over our will, even in the smallest of ways, our struggle with addiction begins to be—to the degree of our surrender—consecrated by God. As we turn over our will and our life to God, our personal will begins to be made holy.
Let us never forget that God is fully connected to everything we think and feel. He knows it all and He doesn’t turn away. In knowing all, He calls us home to health and recovery. This journey home begins with a letting go of our attachments, which is a way of allowing God to become fully involved in our thoughts and feelings. As we turn over our thoughts and feelings to God, they begin to become transformed by God. The power of God’s grace flows into us most freely when we decide to align our will with God’s will. As we do this, God will become more important and we will become less important. This simple decision is the most powerful way that any human being can exert his or her will. It is our choice for our recovery. It’s evidence of the initial transformation of everything we are, beginning with what we want and hope for, our will. Some of us prayed in this way:

Dear God,

I pray that I will learn to desire obedience more than blessing or comfort and to know that the greatest blessing in life is to live obedient to Your will. May I learn to better give up my will and find my complete and total satisfaction in Your will. My self-centeredness destroys me, but seeking You and doing Your will brings life to me. Realizing this, I have decided that my mind, my heart, and my will, will be directed to You. I will find my purpose and identity in knowing You more personally and living more powerfully according to Your Spirit.

Copyright 2012, Homecoming Books
click  link to purchase



While the yearnings of my soul have never disappeared, they have changed. In a deep and personal way, I am evermore aware of a relentless longing in my soul that is not fully satisfied, yet fulfilled when directed toward God in Christ. I am completed as I honor God as the Giver of Life, the Sustainer of Life, the One who by His nature is Life.

Recovery requires that we simplify our lives beginning with recognizing what is most core about us — our God-created spirituality. This spirituality — simplicity — can only be experienced when we live the life God offers us everyday. It is as simple as this: with God, life has infinite possibilities for good; without God, real goodness in life is impossible. Remembering this simple principle will transform everything we think, feel and do, molding us into the kind of people who live in private the same way we would if all eyes were on us.

 We must be motivated from within, not from without. We must live our lives before God, knowing that He sees all and that our reward will come from Him if we persist in doing what He has asked us to do.
Joyce Meyer

Our sponsors, spiritual directors and counselors have been and will continue to be important resources for us in recovery. They were my helpers in growth, but, while I have relied on them in many ways, they are not my resource or power for recovery and change. What they offered was good, but I need something more. As a “new man in Christ” identity grows in me, I take on a personal identity that is much more from the influence of God working deep within me than the good character qualities other people help me learn. I am learning not to confuse a teacher with The Teacher. Human teachers come and go, but God will never leave us or forsake us. I am His. We are His. He is ours for Eternity.

This is an excerpt from WHEN LOST MEN COME HOME, not for men only 

~ Copyright David Zailer, 2011

click this link to purchase

Wednesday, February 12, 2014


We Admitted

“If you think you know it all, you're a fool for sure; real survivors learn wisdom from others.”
Proverbs 28:26 The Message

“When we have accepted the worst, we have nothing more to lose. And that automatically means – we have everything to gain.”
-Dale Carnegie

We admitted we were powerless over our addiction, that our life had become unmanageable.

Everything that we do in a worthwhile recovery effort begins with “we.” We cannot allow ourselves to be alone if we hope to have a worthwhile recovery experience, because no one recovers from their addictions alone. We have to have help. While each of us will have a different story to tell, all of our stories end up pretty much the same way: addicted.

In our addictions, we become isolated by our secrets and by our shame. We feel guilty about the things we’ve done and we feel shameful about the secrets we’ve kept. We often feel like we are little more than a huge mistake that must be kept hidden from others at all costs.

In our efforts to combat our sense of aloneness, many of us have participated in various groups that were based on commitments of religion, social service, virtue, promise keeping, and faithfulness. We participated in these groups with full sincerity, always working with great diligence so we would not fail. We thought that if we could make ourselves to be of great importance we could solve our own internal pain. But we could not.Our best efforts were never good enough for us. No matter how much we excelled in our good works, our own sense of failure continued to grow. Whatever we did, no matter how good or worthwhile it was, it was never good enough. We thought we had to be perfect. It seemed to us that if we could get it right, whatever it was, then we could get ourselves right too. We always worked harder. To us, things were never good enough. We became perfectionists. Then, we would even find failure in our greatest achievements. Strange as it sounds, no matter what the successes we achieved, or the failures we experienced our addictions seemed to become ever more attractive. And, paradoxically, the harder we worked to overcome our addictions on our own the more our addictions ruled our lives.

Left with few, if any, viable opportunities for change we admitted we needed help. And, we took the first step in getting help by seeking out a recovery fellowship, a place where it was safe to admit that we were not in complete control of our lives.Desperate, we admitted that we had been unable to overcome some very serious problems with our behavior and that our life was beyond our ability to manage. In making our admission, we began to set aside our own ego-centered independence in order to seek out a connectedness and fellowship that could do for us what we had not been able to do for ourselves. Alone we are dying, but together we can recover and live.

copyright 2011, David Zailer



I have never had a better life than the one I have today. I had hoped for a life like this growing up. As a child, I saw my friends attain functional abilities that escaped me until recently. So much of my life was lost in self-loathing, envying others, and feeling isolated, wondering what was wrong with me. Thankfully, things have changed. Today I am thankful to be alive. Joy has overwhelmed me as the result of accepting God’s grace and giving myself to Him. But, as full as I feel now, I also still feel restlessness within me. Called from Eternity, I yearn relentlessly for something deeper — something more. It is as if I have walked a thousand miles excited to get home, but the last mile is a steep uphill climb home. This is nothing new for me, really. Much of my life was spent chasing earthly pleasures like social prestige and financial security in an attempt to satisfy my soul. It is clear to me now, that I am created with a desire for more, and I am not alone in this desire. The undercurrent of every destructive behavior is a yearning that exists unheard and unsatisfied, because no earthly thing will satisfy anyone.

Every man or woman who has come to our fellowship has, by their own admission, failed to satisfy the deepest longings of their soul. No matter how hard we tried, our efforts to satisfy our deepest longing was only temporary, always failing to satisfy our innermost selves. We surrendered our lives to God, not because we were good or honorable or even because we wanted to at the time; we surrendered our lives to save them! No one gets God by personal virtue. He is discovered only when a bankrupt man or woman honestly seeks Him.

Every one of us has our own personal reasons for surrendering our lives to God, and some sound very good, while others sound pathetically selfish. And this is okay because there is never a bad reason to ask God for his help. Any and every reason we have to recover from the broken condition of our lives is a good one. However, over time we learn to seek God for reasons that are more honest. We learned, and are still learning, to surrender for the best reason — God Himself. We came to Him because we had to; we stayed with Him because we learned to live in grace. There is no better place for a recovering man or woman to live.

This is an excerpt from WHEN LOST MEN COME HOME, not for men only 

~ Copyright David Zailer, 2011

click this link to purchase

Wednesday, February 5, 2014


A New Purpose for Our Lives
“But Jesus said, ‘No, go home to your friends, and tell them what wonderful things the Lord has done for you and how merciful he has been.’
Mark 5:19 NLT

“If you will agree with God’s purpose, He will bring not only your conscious level but also all the deeper levels of your life, which you yourself cannot reach, into perfect harmony.” - Oswald Chambers

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry the message to others, and to practice these principles in all our affairs

Pain and fear are often two of our greatest motivators. Pain grabs our attention, and fear either paralyzes us or it shakes us into doing things that are usually destructive. This is how our impulsive attempts to avoid pain and fear have deepened our addictions. But, thankfully, things have begun to change. Hope and humility give us the willingness to go through pain instead of escaping it, and the ability to address fear instead of running from it.

We become the kind of people who can face fear and endure pain when we see that a more intimate walk with God lies ahead for us. This intimacy with God motivates us to keep moving forward and leave our addictions behind. God teaches us to not fear pain like we used to. He teaches us to handle fear in healthy ways. We learn to benefit from our pain and fear as we accept them as opportunities to exercise our faith in God. The strength of our faith is not the issue at hand, because walking with God is not a matter of how big or how small our faith is. If we have faith in God, in whatever amount, we have enough. Our faith, after all, is in Him, not in ourselves. This faithful thinking moves us to the place where our addictions just won’t make sense to us anymore. Our addictions never really helped us, you know; they only distracted us. We don’t want that old life anymore. So, why would ever want to go back to them again? We want God’s best now, and we are willing to do whatever it takes to have His best, even when it is painful and even when we feel afraid.

In the past, most of us have thought of ourselves as physical beings who were trying to have spiritual experiences, but now we think of ourselves as spiritual beings who are having physical experiences in ways that are uniquely designed for us, individually, by God. We will enjoy some of these experiences and not others. We will laugh sometimes and we will cry sometimes. No matter what the circumstances are, and no matter what emotions and feelings we have, things for us have become wonderfully simple. We are people who have suffered terrible addictions, but now we are people who enjoy God’s best today and everyday. We don’t judge our lives by our circumstances; we judge them by the freedom of our heart. For you see, through God’s grace coupled with our surrender, we become the most blessed of all people. We know this because God only judges us by the standard of His love and righteousness that’s been displayed through Christ. We, on the other hand, judge ourselves more harshly. We judge ourselves by our willingness or our unwillingness to respond to His love through our obedience.

Recognizing how blessed we are gives us gratitude for our addictions. A grateful heart helps us to look back and see our addictions as a kind of training ground. They have prepared us to become the kind of men and women who can share God’s grace with others in very dynamic ways. More than most, we embody the progressive prodigal experience of hopelessness, selfishness, disaster, desperation, whimpering cries for help, grace given, grace received and life resurrected. By God’s design, there is no better plan for us than what we have experienced. Our purpose in life going forward is to seek, discover and experience God as Jesus Christ knows God, and as we receive the benefits of knowing God, we will encourage others to seek, discover and experience God for themselves.

We are all prodigals in one way or another. And understanding this is at the core of our transformation.

copyright 2011, David Zailer