Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
You can't whitewash your sins and get by with it; you find mercy by admitting and leaving them. A tenderhearted person lives a blessed life; a hardhearted person lives a hard life.
Proverbs 28:13 -14 The Message
“Honest men fear neither the light nor the dark.”
-Thomas Fuller, M.D.
Light Shines Before Us
Once we have been honest and real with another person we should take some time for personal reflection. Taking the time to reflect gives us the chance to look back over the spectrum of our recovery experience and absorb more deeply all that has been happening in our minds and in our hearts. We’ll want to thank God and our listener for the love and the acceptance they have given to us. We should also acknowledge ourselves for being courageous and determined in our recovery work. Reflecting back, we can begin to see that God has been there alongside of us all along. He was with us in the conversation that we had with our listener, and even before that. Now, we can begin to see that He’s been reaching out to us, even before our recovery began. For you see, God is always one step ahead of us. He is always there, waiting for us to show up, honestly sharing with Him the truths of who we really are.
The conversation that we had with our listener has been a real “first” for most of us. Now, having had this “first of its kind” experience, we can sit quietly, alone and at peace, experiencing our bodies, our minds and our hearts being comfortable and at rest with one another. The angst, the resentment and the ongoing distrust that we have felt for ourselves and others can now begin to slip into the past. We can sense a new kind of feeling. We can feel that the world that we live in is a good world and that we are a valuable part of the goodness that God makes. Thank God for our Step Five experience. Let’s continually ask Him to help us grow in honesty. Let’s ask Him to help us to let go of the remaining burdens that we place on ourselves and others.
Journaling what we have discovered is important so that we don’t forget the past. We are more likely to end up where we don’t want to be if we forget where we’ve already been. Also, sharing our experience with those in our recovery fellowship helps us to keep moving forward, too. With this kind of progress we will sense a new kind of confidence deep inside of us. We won’t be alone anymore. We have seen a glimpse of God’s accepting love and we have experienced the joy of having someone else know our secrets and not turn away. Knowing that we are accepted by God and another person helps us to change. We can accept ourselves, failures and all. Redemption has begun. To the degree that we recognize and accept the value that God has for us, we will recognize, accept and value ourselves, too.
We can see that our future will be different from the past. While still capable of addictive self-destruction we know that the downward spirals that we have known before are no longer inevitable. We can live large, in a world of imperfect but wonderful people who, when honest with God and others, make themselves available to be loved by a strength and a power that is capable of giving life amid all hardship and sorrow. Sharing is caring. We become living miracles in the lives of others when we share, honestly.
from Our Journey Home - Insights and Inspirations for Christian Twelve Step Recovery, By David Zailer Copyright David Zailer, 2011
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