Have You
Been Fooling Yourself?
You
cannot become the person God created you to be if you play games with the
truth. To make a real claim for the kind of faith that leads to recovery, it is
your responsibility to pursue self-clarity, so you can learn to understand who
you are, what you are about, why you think the way you do and why you do the
things you do. This may even mean admitting how hopeless you still feel, or how
weak you feel your faith to be. If we want to know God personally, the place
to start is with the truth about ourselves.
God is a God of truth. He is a God
of reality. To procrastinate in this work of self-honesty is to avoid the
process of growing in relationship to God, who is our only hope. All God is
asking you to be is completely honest — right now. With your addiction as
obvious evidence, you were not honest in the past, and tomorrow may never come.
Your opportunity for recovery is to face yourself honestly, today and every
day. Procrastination is deadly to sexual addicts.
The moral
inventory is a cool examination of the damages that occurred to us during life
and a sincere effort to look at them in true perspective. This has the effect
of taking the ground glass out of us, the emotional substance that still cuts
and inhibits.
Bill Wilson, As Bill Sees It
You want me to
be completely truthful, so teach me wisdom.
Psalm 51:6 NCV
There is no effective substitute for
a truthful, realistic perspective of who you are. Honesty, openness and
willingness — the very things we run from in our addictions — are required.
Most everyone in Operation Integrity will readily admit they felt fearful and
reluctant about making their own personal inventory. It can seem like an
impossibly uncomfortable thing to do. We all needed help. Being open-minded, we
were willing to ask for the help we needed. And we got it. We got help from our
sponsors, our mentors and our counselors. If you need help, ask for it. You are
not alone.
This is an excerpt from When Lost Men Come Home, not for men onlycopyright, david zailer 2012
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