Addictions diminish one’s ability to make effective personal decisions. And as a consequence of our addictions we can also lose opportunities to make certain decisions. But, there is always one opportunity for choice that will forever be ours. What I do with my will is the single most significant and personal decision of my life. It can never be taken from me. I can never escape it. I am always responsible for it. We all have the opportunity to choose what our lives will be like, what kind of people we will be and who we will belong to. It’s a simple decision that we face every day. Who will I trust? Who will I follow?
Always — or at the very least, most of the time — my intentions were honest, my goals seemed clear to me, and I absolutely never intended to become the kind of person who would make a disaster of one’s life. But I did. My personal willpower and ambition not only abandoned me, but also propelled me to become a prisoner to the very things I once felt entitled to. My addictions cost me the mental clarity I needed to make certain specific choices, and they caused the loss of opportunities to make others.
The decision to surrender myself to God’s care is a different kind of decision — one that is far more personal and practical than religious. I surrender my will and life to God and His care or I continue as I was and die. God is a life-and-death decision for all of us. In one way or another, and sometimes without consciously realizing it, we all decide whether we are willing to trust God or continue our journey alone. Personally, I recognize that failing to trust God with my life leaves me spiritually alone and unprotected against my own progressing addictions — a potentially fatal mistake for any addict.